Comic Book Store Springfield
Half receded, Long, Brown“Worst (insert noun) ever!” ―Comic Book Guy's negative catchphrase “Best or "greatest" (insert noun) ever!” ―Comic Book Guy's positive catchphrases in certain episodes or media “Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix!” ―Comic Book Guy's hospital catchphrase
Jeffrey "Jeff" Albertson, better known as Comic Book Guy, is the overweight, geeky proprietor of Springfield's local comic book store, The Android's Dungeon and Baseball Card Shop. Though thought to be an antagonist, he is sarcastic, surly, and insulting at certain points.
Comic Book Guy smiling
Comic Book Guy is a very obese, socially incompetent, unshaven, cruel man who is perhaps best known for his sarcastic quips. He holds a master's degree in folklore and mythology (he translated The Lord of the Rings into Klingon as part of his thesis). He exhibits geeky behavior to an extraordinary and deliberately unrealistic degree, and often also makes references to obscure subjects or internet culture. His catchphrase is the declaration, "Worst... (episode)... ever". He states that he is a 45 year-old virgin who lives with his mother. His obesity has been stated on The Simpsons: Hit and Run, where he can be used driving you around in his car, when one of his replies is that he might as well pick you up, since he can't fit into his office chair anymore. Comic Book Guy is extremely overweight to the point to were his clothes barely fit. He also at one point suffered from lumbago.
Appropriate to his name, Comic Book Guy is obsessed with comic books, pop culture and science fiction. Comic Book Guy has a bumper sticker that reads "My Other Car Is The Millennium Falcon, " given to him by a Harrison Ford lookalike. The license plate on his AMC Gremlin is NCC-1701, the registry number of Star Trek's USS Enterprise. The contents of his display case include, among other oddities, a photo of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore and a very rare Mary Worth in which she advised a friend to commit suicide. He also owns a T-shirt that says "C:/DOS C:/DOS/RUN RUN/DOS/RUN" (Notice the incorrect usage of the forward slash. DOS directories are listed with a backslash, so it would be "C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN"). He is a member of the Springfield branch of Mensa, along with Principal Skinner, Dr. Hibbert, Lisa Simpson, Professor Frink, and Lindsey Naegle. In the episode "Beware My Cheating Bart", he says he is a cyber bully.
At one point, he went to see a test-screening of the remake of starring Mel Gibson, although he was thrown out due to getting caught using a computer due to a no internet spy policy at the Aztec theater, with his desktop computer being thrown out (with his stating he had a mouse with it, before promptly thanking them when they threw it out as well). He later saw the (modified) final release, and while carrying his laptop to review the film, wrote a presumably very scathing review of the film, in particular its ending where Mel Gibson's character goes on a killing spree derived from mindless action flicks, which he was doing just as he and everyone else was walking out.
Comic Book Guy
Comic Book Guy is the middle-aged, overweight, almost fanatical comic buff and displays deep passion regarding all fictional memorabilia in general, especially science fiction to the point of complete monomania. Sarcastic, irate and proudly geeky, Comic Book Guy does not treat anyone with kindness unless they are as passionate about comics as he is, with the exception of Otto and Stan Lee. Most of the characters infamy and trademarks are derived from his constant sarcastic observations, quips and distinct accent. Comic Book Guy's Obsessive-Compulsive fixation with comics is such that when somebody placed a Spider-Man comic inside The Spectacular Spider-Man slot, it was enough to drive him angry. He is so stressed about people's comic book ignorance around him that it caused him to have a heart attack, which Hibbert calls his profession as owner of a comic book store as one of the most stressful jobs in the world, referring to it as the "widow-maker" (if any [comic book store owners] had wives).
Aside from following Radioactive Man, the ongoing Hollywood movies and fast-paced internet nudity, Comic Book Guy is also a fan of Marvel and DC Comics such as Superman, Spider-Man, Batman, Fantastic Four, Hulk and many more. He also enjoys Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Star Trek, Game of Thrones and Japanese anime. Comic Book Guy owns, amongst his vast collectibles, a Hulk melon baller (which he originally intended as a wedding gift to Skinner and Krabapel), a Spider-Man, The Flash, Batman, Spock and Klingon Warrior costume, several life-sized cardboard cut-outs of various Star Wars characters, Star Wars sheets and a Jar-Jar Binks figure which he sleeps with. Comic Book Guy speaks fluent in Klingon, Mordor, has set his life on routine of the Vulcan mating ritual Pon Farr, has a restraining order on Lynda Carter and has a crush on Nichelle Nichols, Batman's Catwoman and Get Smart's Agent 99.
Comic Book Guy's catchphrase
Comic Book Guy has a massive collection of bootlegs of stolen movies, police interrogations and even ones regarding homeland security in his basement.
Comic Book Guy has a habit of stating his emotions and what is occurring or how he is feeling as it happens. When he was having a heart attack he yelled out the symptoms; "breath short, left arm numb" before he collapsed and yelled "can't go on describing symptoms any longer". Comic Book Guy often states what he thinks in a matter-of-factual way such as the method listing "A, B" and using words like "correction" or "false" whenever he corrects somebody. In addition, Comic Book Guy refers to comic books as if they were actuality for example when Stan Lee entered the Android's Dungeon, he proclaims "my heart is pounding like Thor's hammer against Doctor Doom's titanium breastplate". He has shown to be one of the few characters whom non-directly break the fourth wall in his canon appearances. For example in season 11 when Marge asks if the Simpsons should get a horse when Bart wanted to adopt Duncan, Comic Book Guy explained that the Simpsons already had a horse in season 3 (even though he was not involved in that situation and didn't appear in that episode at all).